What to Wear to a Funeral

It’s essential to wear dark, conservative clothing to show respect for the deceased and their family. For women, a simple dark dress, skirt and blouse, or a pantsuit is appropriate, paired with closed-toe shoes. Men should opt for a dark suit with a light-colored dress shirt, dark dress pants with a collared shirt and tie, and dress shoes. Children should wear age-appropriate, dark-colored clothing. Avoid bright colors, revealing attire, casual wear like jeans or t-shirts, and noisy accessories.

What to Wear to a Funeral

Attending a funeral is a solemn occasion that requires appropriate attire to show respect for the deceased and their family. Choosing what to wear to a funeral can be challenging, especially if you’re unsure about funeral etiquette. This comprehensive guide will help you navigate the dos and don’ts of funeral attire, ensuring you dress appropriately for this sensitive event.

Understanding Funeral Dress Codes

Traditionally, funeral etiquette dictates conservative clothing in dark, muted colors. However, modern funerals may have varying dress codes depending on cultural, religious, or personal preferences.

Traditional Funeral Attire

For most Western funerals, the standard dress code includes:

• Dark colors: Black is most common, but navy, dark grey, or deep purple are also acceptable.
• Conservative cuts: Avoid revealing or overly tight clothing.
• Modest hemlines: Skirts and dresses should fall at or below the knee.
• Covered shoulders: If wearing a sleeveless dress, add a cardigan or jacket.

Appropriate Clothes to Wear to a Funeral

When deciding what to wear to a funeral, consider the following options:

For Women

1. A simple, dark dress
2. A skirt and blouse combination in muted colors
3. A pantsuit or tailored trousers with a conservative top
4. Closed-toe shoes in dark colors

For Men

1. A dark suit with a white or light-colored dress shirt
2. Dark dress pants with a collared shirt and tie
3. Dress shoes in black or dark brown

For Children

What do kids wear to a funeral? Children should be dressed in age-appropriate, subdued clothing:

1. Dark-colored dress or skirt with a plain top for girls
2. Dark pants and a collared shirt for boys

What Not to Wear to a Funeral

Knowing what is appropriate to wear to a funeral also means understanding what to avoid:

1. Bright or flashy colors
2. Revealing clothing (low necklines, high hemlines, or tight fits)
3. Casual wear like jeans, t-shirts, or sneakers
4. Noisy jewelry or accessories
5. Strong perfumes or heavily scented products
6. Clothing with distracting patterns or logos
7. Overly formal attire that may draw attention (e.g., tuxedos or evening gowns)

Can You Wear Jeans to a Funeral?

One common question is, “Can I wear jeans to a funeral?” Generally, jeans are considered too casual for a funeral. However, if the family specifically requests casual attire, dark, well-fitted jeans without rips or distressing may be acceptable. When in doubt, it’s best to choose more formal attire.

What to Wear to a Casual Funeral

Some families may opt for a more relaxed memorial service. If you’re wondering what to wear to a casual funeral, consider these options:

1. Dark-colored slacks with a collared shirt
2. A simple, dark dress with minimal accessories
3. Dark jeans (if specified as acceptable) with a conservative top
4. Khaki pants with a button-down shirt
5. A casual skirt with a modest blouse

Even for a casual service, avoid shorts, flip-flops, and overly casual attire like athletic wear or beachwear.

Dressing for Different Seasons

Summer Funerals

For warm weather, focus on lightweight, breathable fabrics:

1. Sleeveless dresses with a cardigan or wrap
2. Linen trousers with a short-sleeved collared shirt
3. Light wool or cotton blend suits for men
4. Breathable, dark-colored dresses in appropriate lengths
5. Lightweight, dark blazers over dresses or slacks

Remember to bring a light jacket or wrap for air-conditioned indoor services.

Winter Funerals

In colder months, layer appropriately:

1. Wool dresses or skirts with opaque tights
2. Dark coats over your funeral attire
3. Long-sleeved dresses in heavier fabrics
4. Wool or cashmere sweaters with dress pants
5. Formal winter boots in dark colors (if appropriate for the weather)

Ensure your outerwear is also in a dark, subdued color.

Cultural and Religious Considerations

Different cultures and religions may have specific funeral dress requirements:

1. Catholic funerals often call for conservative, black attire.
2. Jewish funerals may require head coverings for women and men.
3. Hindu funerals traditionally involve wearing white.
4. Buddhist funerals may request white or black attire, depending on the specific tradition.
5. Islamic funerals typically require modest clothing that covers most of the body.

If attending a funeral outside your own cultural or religious background, research appropriate attire or ask the family for guidance.

What to Wear to a Funeral in 2023

While traditional funeral attire remains largely unchanged, there are some modern trends to consider when deciding what to wear to a funeral in 2023:

1. Dark-colored jumpsuits for women
2. Tailored, dark-colored separates
3. Modest midi dresses in muted tones
4. Classic, well-fitted suits for men in charcoal or navy
5. Dark-colored, conservative maxi dresses
6. Tailored dark jeans with a blazer (if appropriate for the specific service)

Accessories and Grooming

Keep accessories minimal and understated:

1. Simple jewelry like stud earrings or a delicate necklace
2. A small, dark-colored handbag or clutch
3. Minimal makeup in neutral tones
4. Well-groomed, conservative hairstyles
5. A simple, dark-colored watch
6. Clean, well-maintained shoes

Avoid flashy or noisy accessories that may distract from the solemnity of the occasion.

Dressing for Different Types of Funeral Services

Viewing or Wake

Attire for a viewing is typically the same as for the funeral service. However, if the viewing is less formal, slightly more casual attire may be acceptable. Always err on the side of conservatism.

Graveside Service

For outdoor graveside services, consider:

1. Comfortable shoes suitable for grass or uneven terrain
2. Layers for unpredictable weather
3. A hat or sunglasses for sun protection (if appropriate)
4. Dark-colored outerwear that coordinates with your outfit

Memorial Service

Memorial services held some time after the funeral may have a more relaxed dress code. However, it’s still best to err on the side of conservative attire unless otherwise specified. Consider:

1. Business casual attire in dark or muted colors
2. A mix of formal and slightly less formal pieces (e.g., a blazer with dark jeans)
3. Comfortable yet respectful clothing suitable for the venue

Special Considerations

What to Wear to a Funeral as a Guest

As a guest, your primary concern should be showing respect through your attire. Opt for conservative, dark-colored clothing that doesn’t draw attention to yourself. If you’re unsure, classic choices like a dark suit for men or a simple black dress for women are always appropriate.

Can You Wear Shorts to a Funeral?

In most cases, shorts are not appropriate funeral attire. Even in warm weather or for casual services, it’s best to choose long pants or skirts. If the family specifically requests very casual attire, opt for longer shorts in a dark color, paired with a collared shirt or conservative top.

What to Wear in Funeral for Different Roles

• Pallbearers: Usually wear dark suits with white shirts and conservative ties.
• Immediate family: Often wear all black or very dark colors.
• Speakers or officiants: May wear clerical garments or conservative, dark-colored attire.

Final Thoughts on Funeral Attire

When choosing what to wear to a funeral, remember that the focus should be on honoring the deceased and supporting their loved ones. Your attire should be respectful, modest, and unobtrusive. If you’re unsure about the dress code, it’s always better to err on the side of being more formal rather than too casual.

Consider the following questions when selecting your outfit:

1. Is it respectful and conservative?
2. Does it avoid drawing attention to myself?
3. Is it appropriate for the venue and weather?
4. Does it align with any specific requests from the family?

By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your funeral attire is appropriate and respectful, allowing you to focus on offering your condolences and support during this difficult time. Remember, your presence and compassion are far more important than your outfit, but dressing appropriately shows your respect for the solemnity of the occasion.

If you’re still unsure about what’s appropriate to wear to a funeral, don’t hesitate to ask a family member, close friend of the deceased, or the funeral director for guidance. It’s better to ask and be certain than to risk appearing disrespectful.

Ultimately, the most important aspect of attending a funeral is to pay your respects and offer support to those who are grieving. By choosing appropriate attire, you demonstrate your understanding of the gravity of the occasion and your respect for the deceased and their loved ones. This allows you to focus on what truly matters – honoring the life of the person who has passed and comforting those who mourn their loss.